38... THIRTY-EIGHT!

Well, another year down and one day closer to dying. I know that doesn't sound fun but, it's true.

This morning I got up around 5:10 AM grabbed my camera and headed to the mountains. After a short conversation and a kiss to my wife, I was driving down the highway. I really had no idea where I was going, but I thought I might find something up the Tumwater canyon.

I tried to keep it simple since I realized no one really knew my exact location, and a fall from a mountain resulting in injury or death would have had people searching for months.

As I exited my car and left the tune, "Beautiful Day," I grabbed my cameras and headed out... alone. What a peaceful time. Sounds of rushing water, birds and other critters I could only hear, singing, "Happy Birthday to YOU!" How nice.

I got down and dirty getting up close to some glacier lilies and some other flowers I have yet to identify. I wish I had my book with me, but alas, homework for later.

Anyhow, I really didn't want to talk about my birthday but rather, my midlife crisis...

It's hard to say this here, but I've given it a lot of thought and feel now is the time to let everyone know... I've been cheating on the side and I can't stay here anymore... There, it's out... Finally!

Since I first started with Blogger in September of 2005, I didn't know what kind of relationship blogger and I would have... I love blogs and the communities therein... However, I've worked around ridged blogger approved templates and longed to bring more of my personality to blogland. I had seen others using garbage like "myspace" "facebook" blah, blah, blah... But one caught my eye... WordPress. She wasn't perfect, but then neither was I. I heard that you could host WordPress on your site and with some modification you could really stretch your creativity and not look so much like everyone else.

I think Blogger, found out I was looking, because she made several changes. However, the changes she made, made me more confused that I was before. Don't get me wrong... I love blogger. I cut my teeth on blogger. But, now it's time for me to take the next step.

If you come to this site via http://road2gaza.blogspot.com/ , you'll continue to see this same old post, over and over again.

However, if you visit this spot via, http://www.johnathanthomas.com , you'll be pointed to the new site, that looks a lot like this site, just easier for me to manage.

The OFFICIAL SITE IS:
http://blog.johno.org

So, there you have it... My mid life crisis.

I love you blogger. We will always be friends, but it's time for me to go.



goodbye.
johno~

I realized after my last post, that today is August 15. This is my ninth year full-time ministry. I only promised five years and somehow, here I still remain.


I remember jumping on board to being the best youth minister I could be... As a teen, I wanted to be better that... Jeff Walling. I read all the books, ordered all the best curriculum from Willow Creek and other mega church groups. I remember my first Bible study with a family who after hearing all the "right" answers, said, "thanks for sharing... we'll think about it." WHA?

I remember the group of teens I "adopted." Teens anchored to church via activities and bribes. It was both fun and difficult. I entered this work in August with a remaining budget of $16 dollars and some change.

In the beginning teens didn't like to sing. One student told me we sing to much and it would be nice if we could play more games. I remember Sunday morning Bible classes. Key word would be "BIBLE" and most of the teens not showing up with BIbles. I started giving away Bibles the church owned. Better in a kids hands than on a shelf six days a week. I thought it was important to bring Bibles to Bible study class. After visiting with one of my mentors, Big Don Williams, I had an idea... It was gentler than his. It was called the "Bible Policy" by many. I just thought is was something to get active Christian students to bring a Bible to Bible class.

Needless to say... Some left because of this idea of "forcing children to bring "Bibles to Bible class" and sending them to class with their parents if they didn't. I have a 4 inch sealed envelope which contains many letters for and against my idea, including my response to the church leaders and families.

Dirt flew and all I could do was stand. I ask God why he made me come here? WHAT HAVE I DONE? I'LL NEVER LAST.

When the dirt settled I looked around and my enemy was gone. New families stepped up for the first time. From the ashes new birth began. The teens were no longer in charge.

I spent my time focusing on a mission statement, (which I cannot remember... I have had several over the years. However I think I will stick with the current mission statement... LOVE GOD, LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR) deciding what and where I would be going.

I continued to meet with the family I had first met with and a few short weeks later they gave their lives to Christ. Darren Coy is one of my closet friends today. I've never known a servant like Darren. He has so much to give and he gives more.

I also met a man named Steve Novak. He was a new Christian and not to involved... It was suggested to me I try to hook up with him and play golf. Golf? Could golf be a ministry? YES IT CAN. (although I suck at playing the game) Steve Novak and I would share a great journey. I will say that next to the "Bible Policy" thing, my journey with Steve has been a difficult journey.

I love Steve and I am so proud of him. It was hell to go through his divorce with him. I know most will still say, "it's not your fault" and "you don't really understand." I don't think anyone will understand the difficult time I went though watching my friend hurt like that. I am so glad to have watched him grow from that horrible battle and become stronger for the Lord.

After Steve's drama, I thought I might not make it though the year. This wasn't how ministry was suppose to go. I was hurt, I felt alone, I felt that I had failed.

It's funny the lies youth ministers believe. 1) Numbers count... the bigger the group, the better the ministry. (or the youth minister) 2) I'm strong, I teach Bible class, I know this stuff, I don't need to read the Bible for me... the Bible is me. 3) My relationship is great with my wife... I don't need to be accountable... it will never happen to me. (in 9 years, nine youth ministers have broken their vow and have been unfaithful to their spouse. Several more have abandoned their ministry jobs for a way of life that run contrary to even a worldly moral belief... let alone a Christ follower) 4) I give so much time to the church, I'm tired, they ask so much of me and I can't do everything. (Truth, many mismanage time, waiting until the last minute, bringing added stress and failure) I dare continue to write these lies. I only write what I know.

But the years move on and I met Dan. This may or may not be right, however... I have always called myself a "Jew". I am not a cultural Jew but a religious Jew, in the sense that I grew up knowing God. I was chosen. I grew up with the stories of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I knew all the rules/law, the 10 commandments. I knew what was expected. I knew who was chosen and who was not. I was religious since diapers and I knew Jesus. (in reality, Jesus' rules are way harder to follow... it's because they are not rules but a Way of life)

Dan was and is great for me. It's because he is a gentile. (I dare write nice things about Dan because I know he reads this blog) When I was first told about Dan, he was described as "bizzaro johno" like bizzaro superman, everything that superman was, bizzaro superman was not. Everything Johno was"bizzaro johno, Dan" was not. We were the same but opposite.

Dan and I have many great conversation. Over 9 years of ministry, his baptism is still at the top of my most beautiful moments. Since that time, Dan has offered conversation that took me out of my "religious shell" and showed me God to the gentile. He has a wonderful spirit which is the Lord in him and he allows that to be used. I have so many great thoughts about Dan, I wish I could share them all in detail. (I might include them in my book)

It's funny that my greatest relationships have not been with teens, but the fathers of teens, like Don Wheeler.

Don grew up like me. Religious. He and I meet for coffee each Wednesday morning at 5:30 AM to share, listen and pray. I love his desire to explore God anew. I think Don is the one who can best relate to me and my background. We both find ourselves saying, "AH HA!" and things like, "you know, it really doesn't say that in the Bible." and "I've never looked at it that way before." Our journey is not over yet, I believe it's just getting started.

It's funny to think back when all I really wanted to do was make "SPIRITUAL GIANTS" out of the teens. I really don't know what that means today. What I desire and have experienced with these teens and these fathers is honesty.

Since I've been here there is another father I've come to know. He is at the top of close friends. He may not know how much he has caused me to search the scripture, pray and listen but my friend Nir, who lives in Jerusalem, has given me so much. An entire friendship via the internet. I would have never thought. (Nir, the stories you have shared with me about your son and daughters, you wife. You have given me an important image of the word father. You may not like it and we might not always agree, yet in all of this the Lord has worked through you to minister to me... and that's ok with me)

Though these men, God has worked. They each have challenged me in ways that have allowed me to see ministry differently.

To be honest, I really don't think I am very good at youth ministry. Actually, I surprised it's still a title on my business card. (I make my own business cards, so i guess it's my fault) As I get older I have a hard time keeping up with all the new music, movies, what's in and what's out. Clothes in fashion and those out. The latest lingo I'm afraid to use because I'm still not sure if "fo Shizzle" is a cuss word.

I do love teens, I can't see myself doing anything else. (although the opportunities always show their faces) I want to die working with teens... which could be sooner that later it I attempt anymore world record slip-n-slides or champion dodge ball tournaments.

I love students who are radical, irresistible and revolutionary. God started youth ministry in Numbers chapter 14.

26 The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: 27 "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. 28 So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: 29 In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me. 30 Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. 31 As for your children that you said would be taken as plunder, I will bring them in to enjoy the land you have rejected.

Nineteen and younger. God became a youth minister.

I've not made it to the end so the verdict is still out... However, it's been a God thing for nine years. Even in my rebellion against the things of God he placed certain men around me and the people who I came to serve, they served me. Never before had I thought of youth ministry being a father thing... (I had never had a biological father around) I'm thankful for the father ministry I've been a part of.

Luke 1 quotes Malachi:

16Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. 17And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

To make ready a people prepared for the Lord... It helps when the hearts of the father turn to their children.

Deuteronomy 6

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

I'm not sure where the Lord will lead me beyond this point. I hope I am obedient to listen. (I'm very selfish and stubborn. Jonah 1:15)

I suppose this is what happens when you yield to post for two months. Call this post my "Peter Jackson" post... EPIC (Jas, you are not void in this story... your dirty paw prints are in every paragraph)

peace.
johno~

8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.

9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.

~Proverbs 30:8-9

peace.
johno~

What do you do with all that video shot at your wedding? Edit it together and give it to your wife.



To my wife, my lover, my friend...
I love you more then ever before. Happy 15th anniversary.

Always and forever.
Johnathan~

Breaking free, ready to fly
Head down, on the ground tethered by my side
Don’t they know I want to be free
Look through my eyes, you might just see

I'm Chasing the field of hills turned green
Open to the things unseen
Redemption red, winter white
She Lights my darkness and helps me fly

“Ending poverty” they say, is just a lie
Dying in a dirt street, hear little children cry
One man opened up the door
Giving more than bread crumbs off the floor

To those chasing the field of hills turned green
Open to the things unseen
Redemption red, winter white
She Lights their darkness and helps them fly

One step doesn’t make you walk
One word doesn’t make you talk
It’s the child who gets up again
And the child who’s life is in your hands

Who am I to think I AM
I’m just a beggar with a secret plan
Crawling on a old wood floor
With a map to find an open door

To the fields of hill turned green
Seeing all the things unseen
Redemption red like winter white
No more darkness only Light

Ready to fly

peace.
johno~

In the beginning, God chose the Jewish nation to proclaim His name; announce Him to the world. He could have picked a stronger nation like Egypt or Rome or someone else, but He didn’t. God has always taken the less the smaller to show His power. Now the Peace has come. Funny, it really didn’t look like what we thought it would look like. However, the promise still came in a lowly manger.

The Promise came in the lowest form, with all odds against it and by the power of God became flesh. God would come to where we are and rescue us with His power not ours. This is what we were made for. It’s the “Mitzvah”, the command given to us long ago never to forget.

These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Some of you may remember one of my first blog entries, On the road. It was my turn to listen to the Spirit. I will let you re-read the story If you like.

In short, Whitney was from the South, Texas. She was broke. She was an un-wed mother who just gave up her child to adoption. She knew God, but was losing hope because she didn’t know “who” He was talking about. Am I stretching this? Very contrasting to the Ethiopian eunuch, yet, the spirit led me to her to remind her of the LORD and his promise. He met her where she was… on a street curb.

Jesus said this, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Mitzvah, which means commandment or Mitzvot [plural] which means commandments.

How would our world be changed it we lived by these two Mitzvot? I’d like to find out.
I believe God placed “certain people in certain place at certain times so that they might reach out for Him and grab hold of Him because He is not far from each one of us.” We all travel the road everyday; are we listening to the spirit? Do we share the Mitzvah along the road? Do we live the Mitzvah?

The “Road to Gaza” describes, for me, the story of God meeting a man right where he is. What is my response everyday as I listen to the spirit?

Each person I meet, wherever I am, is the commandments [mitzvot] to love the LORD and proclaim his promises in the Messiah and love my neighbor so that we might have fellowship with the LORD someday in heaven. It gives me hope and builds strength even when I don’t know the final out come, I know what it looks like because of faith.

I grew up alone as a child. No father around, mother working all the time I felt alone. However, many people met me on the road to show me something about the LORD’S love for me.

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. [the temple] I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commandments [mitzvot] and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

One of the men who walked with me on the “road” told me this good news, and when I ask him, "what do I do now?" he said, “share this with someone else.” He left, to Texas, and I went away, to college, rejoicing. Well, I wasn't happy about school work... you know what I mean. Rejoicing about not being an orphan boy, a bastard child. Rather, a true child of God the Father.

The “Road to Gaza” is my journey following and listening to the Spirit of the LORD. It is not about simple nods and greetings along the road as you pass by people. It is walking 140km or farther alongside one another telling the story of the new covenant. Some will leave rejoicing. Other might choose to take another road. That’s ok, I’ll still be walking and I'm sure I'll meet some more people along the road.

I hope this answers the question, “Why the Road to Gaza?’” It is not a short answer. Sorry. However, it’s an honest answer. It may also answer why my blog entries drop off here and there. It's me asking myself the question, “am I listening to the Spirit?” Empty spaces reveal a transparent answer.

I do desire more accountability. I want to listen and see more. It’s one of the reasons I started my 52 people photo blog. Who are the people I’m walking with? It makes you stop and look around. Daily being lead by the Spirit.

To my friend who asked this question, thank you. You know me a little better now. Maybe more than you ever wanted too. You are one of my best friends though we have never met face to face. When the day comes, if we are not to old, I would love to literally walk this road with you.

Peace.
Johno~

What a week. I learned that a missionary friend, age 30, in Uganda was killed in auto accident and one of my former students father, age 52, died from a massive stroke. What a week.

Today was the memorial service for Nicks father. Nick was one of those students I worked with who either was going to be a minister or in prison. I know, I sat in court with him one time. However, prison was not where Nick would end up. There is a God... He is alive.

Seeing Nick today made me feel proud of what this young man has accomplished. However, today, he would bury his father. Fifty-two is to young. It breaks my heart that Nick will be married in 3 weeks and his father will not be there.

Nicks father was an awesome man. I heard it from many.

It made me think. Listening to Nick speak about his father, hearing co-workers sharing about Dale and his employee of the month award which he received for the month of January 2007. All stories of a man who cared for others, laughed and loved life. It made me think...

What will my children say about me? Who will share at my memorial the life they saw me live? How do I live as seen from others? Do I know? Could I stand up and say a few words myself? (of course if I did that would be freaky but pretty cool).

All I know is... There is no promise of tomorrow on this earth. I'm not even guaranteed today but I do have an eternity. What will I leave my family, my friends to hold on to until we meet again? Again? What a blessed thought. Until we meet again.

I hope my legacy is a life of Grace received by a Father who rescued me. He came looking for me when I was hurt and alone.

I'm not sure what I'll leave behind, or what people will think, but I hope it was a message of salvation that lives beyond this lowly shadowland.

peace.
johno~